Infertility

I feel so incredibly inadequate to even approach this topic.  It is something that I cannot say with experience or even begin to understand the pain of people who suffer with this.  I have personally known couples who have experienced this.  Some longer than others and for different reasons but I have not experienced it myself.  This is something that I think is very much around us every singe day and we don't even know it.  It obviously depends on who you hang out with but as a married person hanging out with other married people I know it happens a lot more than I am aware of.  The thing about it is that people don't respect how painful and trying a time this is for the couple.  Especially in LDS culture.  I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked when are you going to have kids in the last year or so.  It's just like earlier stages in life.  People are always asking once you graduate, when are you gonna go on a mission?  And then when you get back.....or get to a certain age if you don't go, When are you gonna get married?  Having children is just the next step but people need to realize that this is a personal decision between the couple.  Not for the whole world to know.  Yes it is exciting to hear about kids but if the couple is trying to and struggling it is going to cause so many more problems.  So many people take it as they are doing something wrong....that they are not worthy.  I can't say this in every case but I don't think that is right.

"Couples struggling with becoming pregnant often deal with well-meaning family and friends who may perpetuate myths that couples simply need to relax or that infertility is only a female problem.  Others may assume that childlessness is by choice.  Leaders of the Church have long taught that decisions about the number and timing of children are left to each couple and the Lord, and not to be judged by others."  (Robinson, 2012, p. 243)

Friends.....Let us help these couples by not making things worse.  If someone chooses to talk to you in private about their decision to have children then ok.  But don't go around asking.  It just makes things worse.  And if you are one of the ones struggling, I really hope that you will be able to conceive a child...I wish there was more I could do to help you individually.  I have included some videos and an article from the Ensign to help keep up hope....That is the most important part is to keep hoping.  I know that the Lord answers our prayers, always.  However I also know that it is rarely ever in the way that we want.  So maybe he is answering your prayer but in a different way.  Maybe there something else that the Lord needs from you right now...or maybe there is a little boy or girl that doesn't have a family and you could be the answer to that families prayers.  I know that its not just about saying oh lets adopt or we can't do it.  I'm just maybe trying to direct your mind in a different area.  In no means do I think that you are being punished.  Only you and your spouse and the Lord know the answer.  I challenge you to keep praying and keep having hope.  A talk in April 2011 general conference "The darkest times usually precede the greatest blessings."  I don't remember who said it but it gives me so much hope.

Learning to Cope with Infertility